Milk, It Does A Body Good

You know when I was a little girl, milk that made its way into our house did not always come from a cow or any other animal for that matter. I am going to tell this story because my childhood memories that are associated with milk have left me quite opinionated about milk and the various forms that are available. The milk that makes its way into my house must pass a few simple tests.
1)Visibility Test - It must come in a clear jug; so when held up to the light nothing can be seen through the milk. The milk I got as a little girl was at least 50% water, 50% milk. Thus my adamant rejection to any milk that is not 100% WHOLE milk, like 2%, 1% , skim milk, low fat, etc. If you can see one of your siblings across the table making faces at you through your glass of milk, chances are you do not have WHOLE milk.
2)Solubility Test - If Nestles Quick, Ovaltine (which is on the same line as 2% milk), or any other additives remain floating on the surface of the milk no matter how long you stir, chances are you do not have WHOLE milk.
3)Stick to Your Throat Test - If you drink a whole glass or even just one swallow and it doesn't feel like the milk is stuck to your tonsils, chances are you do not have WHOLE milk.
4)Taste Test - If it doesn't matter how hot or cold you get it...all it tastes like is water (which by the way has no flavor that I know of), chances are you do not have WHOLE milk.
5)Dip Test - If you dip an Oreo in it and the Oreo immediately disintegrates into the bottom of the glass before you can get it to your mouth, chances are you do not have WHOLE milk.
6)Liquid Test - If you spoon your milk into your glass before adding water, you definitely have powdered milk, which many moms attempt to pass off as real milk to their unsuspecting children. There is no chance you have WHOLE milk.
So now you know why I will only buy or drink 100% WHOLE milk.

And by the way, I learned at a very early age that the color of the cardboard cartons in which milk comes signifies the kind of milk within...Would you all agree that as a child if your mom said go in the store and buy WHOLE milk you could pick up a red and white carton and know without a doubt that it was WHOLE milk? Just as you would choose the blue and white carton if she asked for low fat, and the brown and white carton if you were lucky enough to ever get to buy chocolate milk. Well, with that knowledge firmly planted in my brain from my childhood, why would I think twice about opening a red carton of milk from the school cafeteria to pour into my coffee one day last winter when there was no coffee mate to be found. I very confidently and without thought chose the red and white carton which means WHOLE milk (very important to me as you can tell), NOT ANY MORE RED AND WHITE NOW MEANS STRAWBERRY!!!