Okay, this story is about yours truly. I am only telling you this because I know that most of you, if not all of you, have no idea about how independent-stricken I am, nor do you know of my competitive streak, or the fact that I believe that if a man can do it, a woman can do it better. (I have changed my mind on that, slightly, but that's another blog)
Alright, alright, so you do know these things about me, but what you really may not know is that I think I am a wonderful problem-solver, a brilliant schemer, a genius who is not only capable of masterminding plans to save the universe and my butt, I am fearlessly motivated when I hear the words "you can't".
A few weeks after John and I separated I was home by myself in Beckville when I decided to go out to retrieve something from my car. I had gotten in such a habit of locking the door as I went out that I locked myself out of the house. Okay, but not intirely an insane moment. I had my car keys and my cell phone. I know, you're thinking well if you have your car keys then why wouldyou not have your house key. And you are right. Normally, that is exactly where my house key would be. But since this is not a normal story you will understand that I had let Jonathan borrow it because he had lost his (completely believable). He planned to spend the night with his Dad and come home the next day.
Still no problem, I had my cell phone so I simply called Jonathan to have him come unlock the house. Wrong. Jonathan put the key in the glove box of his truck and his Dad was gone in his truck. Okay, so still no problem, I had my car. It was a school night and I did not want to go spend the night at Aunt Renee's and get up at 4:oo and meet Jonathan at the house to unlock the door for me. That would be the most logical and sane solution. THIS IS WHEN THE PLAN BEGAN TO DEVELOP IN MY HEAD.
I had only lived in this house for 3-4 months and had not had any reason to go exploring in the attic. However, I did know that there were two ways into the attic from inside the house. I'm thinking that if I can get up in the attic from the carport, it would be a piece of cake to make it to one of those inside the house attic openings. No problem....
Well, the attic opening was about 15 ft from the ground. No, it did not have a pull down ladder, just a stinking cut out. No problem, I had a ladder. But the ladder only got me up so high. Even standing on the top rung of the ladder I had to fully extend my arms above my head to just reach the opening. Somewhat of a problem. You have to be pretty strong to hoist yourself up that far, let alone get yourself positioned to make it through the hole. No thoughts of abandoning this genius scheme YET. Okay...so I am thinking. Well at least the hole is close to the wall so maybe I can use the wall to help me hoist myself upwards. (I AM ALSO SMART ENOUGH TO THINK ABOUT TAKING MY CELL PHONE WITH ME) I decide to go ahead and put my cell phone up inside the attic opening so that I would not have to worry about that minor detail when I had other things of magnitude to consider. I reached through the opening an decided to place the phone fairly close just in case. When I let go of it, it fell down between two ceiling joists or something, it was gone. So now the plan becomes more challenging. No phone to call anyone. But I still had my car, so I continued on with the plan.
The sun is slipping behind the trees. No, I do not have a flashlight. It would be inside the house! Well, I try and try and try to pull myself up into the attic. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. But I can't. On my very last effort, I made it. I am now in the attic where I wanted to be, with no flashlight, and I can't see 2 inches in front of me. No problem. I know the floor plan so I still think I can. Well, the thought to continue this brilliantly stupid hair-brained scheme lasted 15 more minutes. The amount of time it took me to make it only about 3 feet in with insulation rubbing against my legs that felt like spider webs and wires running across my ankles making me think snakes lived up there. It only took me a few seconds to make my way back to the carport opening. Yeah, No problem. Wrong. Do you know how difficult and dangerous it was to now have to lower myself back through the attic opening and land on a 5"X12" top rung of a ladder that is about 7 feet below me???? It's gonna really hurt if I miss!!!
4:00 was early at the Duckworth's the next morning!!!
6 comments:
And did Aunt Renee laugh as hard as I am laughing when you got there??? You are so funny, and brave to tell that story!
wow, that is impressive. such determination! oh, and i noticed your profile pic. nice job!
Uh, uh, uh!! Well now that you are telling stories about how dumb a smart person can be you might as well tell them about moving the frig/freezer and it pinning you at your house on Ruthlynn.
I may not want to tell that story. It was really stupid and it might scare people when they are so used to my brilliance to think that I live alone and do the stupid things I do and nobody knows about them. I am still alive despite my stupidity....it all comes from my brilliant plans and problem solving schemes.
Caci, Aunt Renee did not think it was funny when I rang her doorbell after midnight.
Melissa, I did finally figure out how to get my pic on my profile, but I didn't like it. I'm starting over.
Being another brilliant mind like you, my image of you is still intact. I know that it takes extreme experiences for people like us to learn anything. The "normal" things most people do are just too elementary and boring for us. Thanks for sharing.
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